I write about divorce in India

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18 Responses

  1. Nonchalence and its cousin serenity are very, very welcome. And too rare.

  2. Andy says:

    While I admire nonchalance and get great benefits from meditation myself, sometimes it’s healthy to let yourself curse and rant. I’ve found that if I hold everything in, it eventually takes away from my ability to be calm.

    • Kalpanaa says:

      Oh yes – nothing like a good rant to help you feel better. I never hold things in, i find journaling, good old cursing in the bathroom, having a bitch fest with my daughters all very helpful in letting off steam. Thanks for commenting Andy.

  3. Geraint Isitt says:

    I’ve been accused of being too nonchalant. People assume it means I don’t care, which is completely wrong. I’m just not going to let it bug me

  4. I need to learn to be more nonchalant. I tend to take things too seriously. Visiting from A to Z and I’m glad I did.

    The Novice

  5. leannelc says:

    Nice word – I’m getting so much better at letting go of drama – if people want to be nosy or nasty then that’s their problem – I don’t have to participate in their nonsense (there’s a few extra “N” words for the day!)
    Leanne | cresting the hill

  6. Nonchalance, practicing the same, is so difficult and loved your openness to accept that it is not the way always. And at times it shouldn’t be…some resistance , aggression are also the requirement of the situation. The judicious balance is the key…but again its easier said than done.
    Good read!
    Anagha From Team MocktailMommies
    Collage Of Life

  7. sanchwrites says:

    It is hard to always stay nonchalant especially when people manage to push the right buttons. As you said, some days may be better than others and practising mindfulness or yoga will most certainly help!

  8. I find rereading of books I love helps. Re-viewing of favourite films or TV shows. Telling myself stories. I don’t, alas, do yoga.

  9. SoulMom says:

    I completely resonate with what you have mentioned here with regards to people reacting to your divorce. True that they don’t intend to hurt us directly. Yoga has helped me tremendously too during my divorce*. Staying composed is the key. 🙂

    *Would love to hear your feedback on my post related to yoga:

  10. Ravish Mani says:

    Rightly said, Kalpanaa, yoga isn’t about physical training & breathing exercise but a lot more than that. The word yoga literally means addition or joining. It’s about your joining with the ultimate.

    Well, I’d like to differ with you in later part in which you mentioned about control. As I see, meditation is not about restraining of mind but going beyond mind. It’s about the State of Witness. In Hindi, we call it Sakshi-bhav.

    You rightly said that a true yogi doesn’t need to pretend. He calls a spade a spade. It isn’t about looking cool at the surface but being cool at the centre within. A true yogi doesn’t pretend but live spontaneously. If anger rise within him, he lets it out. He doesn’t repress it within and pretend to be nonchalance. He simply remains a witness of anger. He doesn’t let the anger affect him.

  11. Arlee Bird says:

    Times of divorce are so wrought with emotions that it can be difficult to stay in a nonchalant state of mind. My responsibilities of work and child-rearing help keep some balance for me, but the situations surrounding divorce keeps a giant dark cloud looming over every aspect of life. Thankfully it can all go away if you work to let that happen.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

  12. miladyronel says:

    “A true yogi is more than a human pretzel with long slender limbs. A true yogi has an attitude of nonchalance that translates into positivity because our calm surface may be stirred but it’s certainly never shaken.” Love this! Happy A-to-Z-ing.

  13. AN says:

    Nonchalance to the outer world and equanimity within is thesecret to a calm peaceful life indeed!

  14. Nilanjana Bose says:

    Nonchalance practiced can lead to inner peace. All the best


  15. Lalita says:

    I find that yoga helps me re-center myself too. I am a little more deliberate in my practice because I am a relative beginner, but I hope it will imbue me with the power for resistance without anger. Also, the bitch fests with daughters help a lot.

  16. Pikakshi says:

    There were so many things about this post that I loved:

    “Yoga isn’t after all only about stretching your body into unthinkable contours, nor is it about deep belly breathing or alternate nostril. More than anything else its our attitude to life. ”

    “Even the nincompoop ( we can call a spade a spade, even if we’re a yogi) on the road who cuts across my path, stopping his car dead centre, disembarking, striding across, demanding I step out of my car (for what? did he want to wrestle with me?) can be met with firm resistance rather than invective-hurling, mouth frothing anger.”

    and many more lines. They are so human. There is both an expressive, sensitive, concerned and a nonchalant side to them. It is true that how easily we give into these emotions and act before we think. Difficult situations do put us to test. Our real strength is in being total control of oneself during such times. Yoga is certainly the way to go. Thanks for sharing. Thoroughly enjoyed reading and felt motivated.

    Night Reads : Yay or nay?

    Readers of the Night

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