Worry is one of the profusion of feelings we experience through our divorce. I asked divorced people what they worry about in the early days after the separation. Worry is paramount then, not later because things settle down, life goes on and we figure out ways to fight the boogie man of worry, or over come it, or laugh at it or even live with it. The better acquainted we are with our worries the easier it is to transform them into a source of strength. Here is a sampling of some of the things divorced people worry about.
QUOTES FROM OTHER DIVORCED PEOPLE
“I worry that my children will be scarred for life by the divorce.”
“I’m worried about making enough money to support myself – its just me, I don’t have support in the form of money from my family.”
“I fret how I’ll get an apartment – landlords don’t rent to divorced women.” Or to divorced men.
“I worry what people will say about us.”
“I stress that I’ll never find love again.”
“I worry that I will find love and have to make adjustments for a new person.”
“I torment myself with the thought that I will die alone.”
“I worry that my children won’t accept my new partner.”
“I’m afraid that my ex in-laws will be nasty to me.”
“I think a lot about what people think when they see me dining out alone.”
“I secretly fear that my parents don’t really want me in their house even though they’ve invited me to move back in with them.”
“I’m anxious that I will repeat the same patterns.”
“I worry that my spouse’s verdict of ‘madness’ has some truth to it. “
“I worry that I’ll get depressed.”
That’s a lot of worrying for divorced people be doing about various things that eventually turn out to be irrelevant, or you learn to deal with them. I honestly don’t fret about things anymore or as much as non-divorced people do.
Here’s a song I love that is beautifully soothing. Dire Straits’ Why Worry.